someone get that fucking seahorse.
he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
a queef is a wish your heart makes.
Too much gin, very little bucket
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
I know I'm drunk but why am I receiving this handjob through the pant leg of my shorts..?
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
Randomize
