Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
I just want somebody who'll randomly bring me pizza and lovingly squeeze my butt. Is there a dating app for that, do you think?
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
Randomize
