porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
this just has baby written all over it
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
Met the five year old's gym teacher for next year. He is an old drinking buddy and I used to fuck his older brother. It was like a walk of shame 20 years late.
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
Yelling at the starbucks lady to write Beyoncé on my cup
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
Randomize
