Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
I just saw a commercial that said "call your doctor if erections last more than 4 hours". I said "disgusting" and my mom said "I know, i hate when that happens." Get me out of here.
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
It's embarrassing enough people in my life are aware of the ridiculous things that happen to me. I don't think we need to get the whole world involved.
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
The woman that sang I Touch Myself died today. There's only one appropriate way to honor her memory.
I'm on the job.
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
Why did I see a weird snapchat of you barking at McDonald's last night?
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
Randomize
