it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
I really wish i had a penis so i could dick slap that bitch right now
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
party gras won. party gras always wins.
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
Sent. All. My. Texts. Like. This. Last. Night. Thank. You. Weed. Also. Had. A. Dream. About. A. Serial. Killer. That. Killed. Everyone. Except. Me. And.
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
Randomize
