What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
Siri just reminded me to pickup Plan B
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
My nonexistent future grandchildren will one day ask me when I knew I'd lost control of my life. And now I know.
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
Randomize
