Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
Dear God. I kissed a man tonight who was born in 1936.
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
I just sugar scrubbed my vagina. If I don't get laid tonight, me and the universe are gonna have some problems.
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
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