they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
Who wrote "the chamber of secrets has been open, enemies of the heir beware" across my bathroom wall?
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
Randomize
