Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
Turns out he's not a Doctor Who fan, I mumbled Alons-y as I went down on him. He asked who Alan was. No more drunk sex for me!
When you get this divorce finalized we're going to mid evil times AND pirate dining adventure. We're gonna find you a couple of real men and make them joust/swashbuckle for your affection. My treat.
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
Randomize
