Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
He gave me his business card. It was a Justin Bieber trading card with his number written in sharpie. I have to call him don't I?
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
Learn from me. Do not smoke cigs and fold laundry in your room. The cigarette will fall into the dresser without you noticing and your shirts will be on fire. Wanna go shopping tomorrow? I need some new shirts.
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
Forget about letting a 70-year-old man suck on my tits for coke... telling my new boyfriend about it was the poor life choice.
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
Randomize
