i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
ran into someone who graduated hs with us while i was paying for booze in quarters. i love it when people from my past catch me in my classier moments.
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
Sitting in bed reading a porn novel off my phone and accidentally just made Siri start reading the most graphic part aloud. FUN FIRST NIGHT WITH THE NEW ROOMIE.
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
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