and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
let's get her a shirt that says "i went to key west for spring break and all i got was this illegitimate child."
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
i came home after a long day at work and she dropped a plate of cheesecake and a bottle of whiskey in front of me and said here's dinner
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
Randomize
