I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
Fuck appropriateness.
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
Well, i'm not hugging a bag of cheetos and crying while I watch Friends wishing that we were Ross and Rachel. So clearly I'might doing better than last night.
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
Randomize
