Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
The amount of my urine my roommate has consumed after I found out he's been eating my food almost offsets how angry I am
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
No way in hell. Unless I was drunk Tindering again....my swiping finger gets drunk too I guess
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
He eats kale on the regular. Do I look like a bitch that wants to eat kale. No. Give me some Boston market.
Randomize
