he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
I woke up in a trash can. Please dude. I don't know what I did to you last night, but I'm sorry. Epically sorry. Please call me back. Please.
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
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