...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
Who died my cat blue again?
Randomize
