good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
Jesus fuck. I just hit on him in front of the whole fire department. They hit the sirens and told us to get a room. FML. I can never go back to that fire station again...
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
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