so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
Dude, if that was the MLB player I think it was leaving your bedroom this morning please tell me you got his autograph. It could pay the rent for like six months.
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
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