every time i drive by the road she lives on, i scream in the car "i'm sorry i'm sleeping with your boyfriend!" makes me feel less whore-y.
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
She woke up laying on my kitchen floor, ketchup bottle as her pillow, in front of my fridge.
I just realized my life is a timeline of drunken injuries.
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
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