best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
#1 lesson to be learned from mardi gras this year: lock your car doors or some grimy dude like me might just bang in it and use your backseat as a kleenex
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
If you think you're having a bad day, know that upon waking up, I was informed that I blew my nose in a piece of bread last night
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
Randomize
