If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
This is the last time I call a hotel to see if you or some random guy paid for the room last night.
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
so what if he's got a new girlfriend. the guy i'm fucking has an english accent. i win.
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
There's a skateboard on the patio and all the chips are gone. The note on the fridge says 'don't buy cheese'. Stop letting her go outside.
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
Official reason: I couldn't get time off. The real reason: last Xmas nearly ended in alcohol poisoning to prevent me from screaming like a velociraptor
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
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