I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
He woke me up by trying to shove oreos in my mouth. im ready to go home now
So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
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maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
It was your ex but it was not eighties night, it was pudding wrestling. And either thank you or I'm sorry depending on the state of my pants left on the doorstep
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
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Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
" my drug dealer just stopped by and did an elmo impression for my 2 year old nephew."
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
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