i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up with a dread of barbecue sauce in my hair. Drunk munchies makes me a disgusting person.
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it
I had a dream I hooked up with Post Malone. I can still smell the dream
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