I'm dying. Please wear something slutty to my funeral.
id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
This is your morning news. Today at 5 pm I will be going out of town until the 29th. If you would like some great sex before I leave, please contact me. The available packages are: a house call, an outdoor excursion, or a delivery style in-car quickie. available only while supplies last.
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
I deserve like a purple heart or something. I just made it all the way drunk through my 2 story house without making a sound. While carrying a trombone.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
Drunk me Does not appreciate a drunk, naked you kicking me off the couch at 3am. You have a bed here, you dick
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
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