sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
If my body was a temple, I pissed all over the front stairs last night..
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
Yeah, I only wore tennis shoes under the gown. Way cooler than khakis and a shirt, but much more awkward when my parents wanted to go to dinner immediately after the ceremony and my grandmother started to unzip the gown. Stopped her before it was too late, but barely. My dad just rolled his eyes.
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
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