I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
I showed him my bush... on skype.
I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
I’m getting reeeeaaalll tired of telling cute boys I gave them chlamydia.
That’s two in three months. You really know how to live.
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
Randomize
