Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
Last night, my friend changed all my contacts in my phone. I have been texted by Batman, Donatello, and Hermione Granger. I have no idea who they are, and it doesn't upset me at all.
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
Having him as a wingman is like telling the girl you already have aids
On another note, convinced a 9 year old my hickey was actually a zombie bite.
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
Tell me why i have 60 matches in 72 hours on tinder. Can i sell my tinder account like people used to sell their myspace pages and tumblrs when they had a lot of followers? Is that a thing?
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
I never thought I'd end up with a prison pen pal through tinder
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