dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
Look I'm sorry I shaved your cat, but get over it.
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
I text him "Dude. Tryna get fucked here. I only have half the parts. I need your help" I'm sure my mom would be super proud of the woman I have become.
I got propositioned while wearing the bottom half of a horse costume. It's like god is apologizing to me in the strangest of ways.
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
Randomize
