Yo dont text me then not text me
NEWSFLASH - my freind is drunk and admitted that he hates having sex with dogs. should i help him or let him be??
He also left me a wonderful voice mail..... and is now asking me where the planters peanut guy is.
You should probably go find him.
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
Randomize
