You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
Not only is it unacceptable to be bar hopping alone at 5 o'clock. It is definitely unacceptable to do so with a lobster
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
Just pretend you're riding a unicorn through space. Thats how I deal with the stirrup situation at the gyno office.
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
Just had hot animal sex with the guy who had been sending me 10 second selfie snapchats for the past month
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
Randomize
