I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
i think i have herpe
just one?
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
Someone just walked into the bar with a pillow
I don't know whether to judge him or give him a high five
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
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