Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
Playing Cards Against Humanity with my relatives at Christmas while I'm stoned was a bad idea...
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
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