I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
I got a black eye last night. This guy said for every 35 pounds you lose you gain an inch to your dick. I asked him how long he has been peeing sitting down.
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
Responsibility: Hiding your beer when your DWI clients who are out on bond come to talk to you at bars.
Just took an adderall with a shot of tequila while doing my makeup in the parking lot at work before I go in. I'm also late. They're so lucky to have me.
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Jimmy johns delivers to the bar behind work. Happy vodka day!
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
She made me pour olive oil on her.
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
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