Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
I hid my booze in my old Sesame Street lunch box. Big Bird might be disappointed, but I feel Oscar the Grouch would approve.
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
Randomize
