Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
I'm going to kill the bastard that switches my hot hookups from the previous night with ugly chicks
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
These 23 People Had The Most Insane Spring Breaks Ever
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
25 Women On How They Let Their Oblivious Partners Know They Want To Bone
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.