Last night I saw a drag queen take a shot of Red Hot that was soaked into a tampon. I fucking love my life!
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
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