you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
Come scavenge bits of tuna out of my chest hair
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
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