singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
True life: I inadvertently fucked a whole friend group. More details to come tonight.
Randomize
