I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
you kept shouting 'jesus penis' when i was on the phone with 911
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
You think the guy at the speed wash knows he needs to scrub the vomit off the side of my car?
He knew.
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
Randomize
