as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
I've been asked to reupholster their slam-couch so I found some off-cuts of medical-grade, hermetically sealed fabric. She'll be slammed upon for generations to come.
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
The good news is I woke up fully clothed, on top of my covers, with a half eaten granola bar. So, breakfast was waiting for me and I’m already dressed and ready to go today.
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
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