I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
"Grocery shopping" is really just a euphemism for spending $20 on enough frozen food to last 2 weeks and spending the rest of your viable paycheck on alcohol.
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
Only a true best friend would remind you to make sure your cucumber dildo is organic
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
Randomize
