Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
Randomize
