Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
You can't just leave with hair like that
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
just got back. in my inebriated state i broke an ugly lamp and was sent to the store (still drunk) to get a new one. just spent last half hour in isle 3 of dollar general surounded by more ugly lamps and trying not to throw up on each and every single one.
Randomize
