Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
you were crying and the really sympathetic homeless man offered you a sip of his whiskey. who was i to stop you?
Can I crash on your couch? I just came home to find my wife giving two guys blowjobs.
Two?
Two.
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
We got so high we made milksteak
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
Convincing a cop that you have diplomatic immunity is way harder in Dallas than in Serbia. And you get fined for attempted bribery.
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
Randomize
