chick flicks and taylor swift songs are like porn for desperate singles
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
It's hard to be a gentleman when a girl pauses her karaoke version of "a whole new world," and proceeds to tell the entire bar that she wants your cock in her mouth.
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
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