He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
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That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
Emergency! LinkedIn connected me to a hotornot hookup from sophomore year... slutty phase sphere has officially invaded grown up professional sphere. My illusions of interweb sexual anonymity have been exploded.
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
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I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
I just instagramed a picture of an ostrich in case you were wondering what I did with my night
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
You were up on table in a neon bra chanting "YOUR MOM" while drizzling vodka on your chest...
no wonder i woke up with my boobs stuck to my bra
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