but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
Found your dick twin last night
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
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