what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
so my 6 year old came home from school and asked me if he was a bastard cause the kids at school called him one, i told him to call them a clit. those parents will hate me
My dinner guests were so drunk they never realized that I inadvertantly put Frosted Mini Wheats on the salad instead of crutons.
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
I don't know who the girl crying at my kitchen table eating gravy from the KFC container is, but I feel like she could be my soulmate
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
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