were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
Condoms? Check. Glitter? Check. Fuck me pumps? Double check. Dignity? No where to be found. I'm about to homewreck the shit out of that dumb bitch.
I've been meaning to talk to you about your lack of self-respect these days and the toll it's taking on your vagina.
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
i just checked to make sure valentines day this year was on a weekend assuming ill want to be drunk all day
hearing about your life makes me feel so good about mine
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
Randomize
