FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
I cant help but love a girl who informs me of the pregnancy test results by emailing me a YouTube clip of Barney Stinsons not a fathers day speech.
In your drunken brilliance did you make bagel with what appears to be mac and cheese smeared on top and pink icing dip? Because if so it is sitting on the counter
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
We don't have sex anymore. We both agree that the olympics are more important to watch. All day. Also i don't look good compared to the athletes...
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
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