i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
Dude, I'm at a wedding and there's a mashed potato bar and bacon strip appetizers. I'm getting all emotional.
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