Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
No seriously, I have to sell the house because my wife found out I'm gay.
Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
I just had a girl text me from knoxville "come see me. we'll go for drinks and I can make you breakfast"
how do you like your eggs?
over tits
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
just found out that she named her cat after me.
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
Randomize
