glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
I know its hard to believe that I'm already drunk at 12 p.m. but I am, so dont call me asking to go to the gym.
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
Yeah, you gave me a condom that I 100% coulda used, then an hour later you basically beat the shit out of me and physically took it from my pocket.
Can you help me get ready before work? I need a look that says I'm-happy-to-help-but-I'm-hungover-so-leave-your-attitude-at-the-door-because-I'm-not-taking-anyone's-shit-today.
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
Randomize
