I am I'm going to have heart failure he's peed on my life.
remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
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