Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
The guy at the liquor store just checked my id and said "oh it's you"
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
His fridge was full of blocks of pepperjack cheese, and his pantry was stocked with huge jars of jellybeans. Even if I'd been drunk, I don't think I could've made that up.
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Randomize
