All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
mustard is like jesus in yellow tights
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
What kind of flower means "I want to have unprotected sex with you, preferably from behind?" because thats the message I'd really like to send on Valentines Day
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
My plan to hit on all your friends went to shit after the 3rd dirty martini.
Randomize
