I'm putting on too much make up bc I'm stoned
I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
Just got a full body massage. It was uncomfortable at first, but then I realized I let strangers turn off the lights and put their hands all over my naked body 3 times a week anyways.
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
Last night I had sex with one of the groomsmen I was in the wedding with. In a stairwell. 13 years my senior. Thinking I should retire from the bridesmaid gig.
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
He said he's going to karaoke tonight and I just spilled a bunch of Cheetos on the floor and ate them all. So that's my night.
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
Randomize
