you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
Randomize
